Saturday, April 26, 2008

The Lazarus Roach

As I entered the bathroom to give Buddy a bath yesterday, I was greeted by the site of this, icky bug, triumphantly crawling out of the bathtub's drain.

So far, I've been blessed in this house when it comes to roaches or rather, the lack thereof. In the two and a half years that we've lived here, I've only come across less than a dozen in total. Most of the time, they waltz in through one of the downstairs bathrooms and don't make it into the house much further than that before they're....eliminated.


This is a far cry from the "old neighborhood" where roaches were walking in under the door from outside with impunity, as if they'd been invited for tea. Thank God my cats were roach detectors back in those days. They're worthless when it came to killing them, they're too well fed for that messy business, but at least they stared unflinchingly for several minutes at a time which told me, there's a creepy crawly in the house. Just to make sure you understand the scale of these bugs, this one was at least as long as my pinkie finger.


So there I am, a naked Buddy in one hand and the spray hose in the other. I set Buddy down to pick up the toilet brush, the only thing I'm not worried about messing up with roach guts, and start bashing the roach back down the drain as it's trying to emerge. I combined beating it with spraying it until it gave up clinging to the sides of the drain and washed down the two floors to the sewer pipes below. Just to make sure it wasn't clinging, I made sure to flush down plenty of water during Buddy's bath then later when I took a shower.


Bath-time comes again in our home, always around Isha prayer when I'm getting the kids ready for bed. Again, I enter the bathroom and turn on the light and there, in a triumphantly brazen pose, is that damned roach. There's no way it could be a different one considering this is the first roach in all these years to express an obsession with my second floor bedroom's bathtub. My bathtub is this roach's Mt. Everest. It had to climb up two floors of pipes to make it all the way up to my room, no wonder it wasn't worried about scattering after I'd turned on the light, it had lived a full life...it made it to the bathtub.


Armed with a camera and a shoe, I made sure to capture this roach's accomplishment for posterity before bashing it repeatedly to death. Since these roach's are so big, just one smack, or even two, can't do the job.


Crrrrunch.....Fluuuuuush......try coming back after that beeeeyach!

37 comments:

dalioness said...

OMG!!!!!!!
I am freakin' out just by seeing the picture!!! I am so so sooooooo afraid of any kind of bugs, and most of all,spiders! Literally have arechnofobia, where I start sweating profusely, panicking and shaking a bit, my heart racing...most of the time I can't even get close enough to kill 'em. In the past, i have had to call my neighbors or my cousins to come to my house and well, do whatever they want as long as the creatures are gone!!! I'm not sure how to get rid of this fear, I have heard of schock treatments but it seems I'd rather live with the fear for the rest of my life then risk dying by trying to overcome it! I have however never seen a roach as big as the one in your house! So I am here reading your post, cringing and thinking: "What a BRAAAAAAVE woman"!!! Creepy post...

Cairogal said...

Oh, damnit!!!! I hate having to kill them. Tain't nothin' worse than that 'crunch.' In Cairo we could never leave the tops off the floor drains. Those roaches were wide little buggers. Worst roach I ever saw? He climbed to the 6th floor of my friends' building in Sharjah. This roach was bigger than most mice in width and length. It seemed he had scaled the building and climbed in through the bathroom wall fan. Hitting him w/ a shoe only stunned him temporarily...

Mama Kalila said...

Uggh... I never liked the things, but just after I moved here I was staying at a cousins and went on the balcony at night to talk on the phone and got swarmed by hundreds of them. I tried to run inside but while opening the door one jumped on me and bit my arm! No joke... I didn't know they could do that. Now I share my husbands fear of the things.

Aysha said...

Especially when you live in older neighbourhood's in Saudi, you get a lot of them. My family's house is 20 years old, in a not so old a neighbourhood, but we still had to spray the entire house every two years.
We get a lot of them, especially in the bathrooms, that I still remember nightmares blessed with their pretty browny hairy sight. Thankfuly enough, it was party of our parent's raising plans to bring up kids who fear nothing, and thus, when I disobeid them one day and refused to kill a roach, I was instructed by mommy to go to the basement, and pick a dead one from it's long iky mustache. Knowing my mom, I did!

Susie of Arabia said...

Yuckie pooh! Gross! I hate them! When I moved to Houston many years ago, I opened the door of my new apartment that I had rented and it was crawling with them everywhere. I almost had a heart attack!

Anonymous said...

Hehehehe! You know someone used to joke and say that when they are not moving they look like dates!!! :P
Try pouring some bleach down the drain, maybe at night and if you got those drain plugs(?) seal it so that they don't crawl up. I haven't seen the bigger roaches for a while, here they have those small ones and are just as annoying!! sf

mezba said...

Wait till you see the ones in Bangladesh - not only are they couple of inches long but they fly too! Yuck

mezba said...

Wait till you see the ones in Bangladesh - not only are they couple of inches long but they fly too! Yuck

UmmAslam said...

Oh my goodness that would freak me out for sure.

Akinoluna said...

Or Central America...when you try to spray Raid on a roach that's crawling on your dresser, it FLIES to your bed and wiggles across ALL your pillows before finding one to die under...

Layan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Layan said...

EWWWWWW!!!!NASTINESS. I am so happy we moved out of old apartment (roaches were a factor) last week. No more than a month ago I had to throw out my toaster.
As I was cleaning my kitchen one evening I decided to empty the crumbs out as I usually do only to come across TWO of these NASTIES having sex in my toaster butt to butt!!!! (can i say that on here). I couldn't even scream I felt so violated. I called my husband in to see the action and after taking the cacuum to them he instantly said throw the toaster out.
Needless to say I was nauseated for the next two-three days. Apparently word on the street is the toaster is the hot spot with continental breakfast included. Frickin' roaches

Molly said...

HAAAAAAAAA haha. Funny post and a great title. In Minnesota we don't really have roaches so it was nothing I had ever dealt with before until I moved to Arizona where they do have them. But even then I never came face to face with any until I walked into the bathroom on ASU and there was a big fat one hanging out on the wall. It was like 2x2 and fat. I'm not sure who eventually killed it, I think it was me because I remember being proud of myself for it.
I didn't happen to come across any in Cairo, but you can be sure I will be on the look out.
Creepy.

Yasmine said...

hilarious...the last part was just great..lol.

@ mama kaila.. they bite? did you get an infection?

Mama Kalila said...

They do. I didn't know before it happened though lol - was so surprised (and obviously not in a good way). I did not get an infection thankfully. But I do stay as far away from them as possible now. Thankfully we have a cat now that thinks bugs are toys. So if one gets in she chases it until it's caught & then accidently kills it while playing. It's great!

Vibeke said...

UGH! I hate those things too! They make me sick to my stomach! when I lived in Oman I had an incident when the kitchen sink got clogged, and when we tried to flush it, the floor drain popped open, and FOUR of the fat big bastards came running out. I freaked out and ran screaming to the living room - my DH and DD had to kill them LOL! I refused to set foot in the kitchen again for weeks! LOL!

I'm so glad I've never seen the fat ones in my apartement here in Kuwait, but we get the small roaches every now and then.

I found this awsome bait for them that they take home and kills the rest of their family with :D From Baygone (I think that was the name). Since I put those things around the bathrooms etc. there's been a significan reduction!

Stranger in this Dunya said...

YUCKKKKK! Thank God we have only found a few dead ones in the house ever but my 4 year old was out on the road outside the house trying to bash one to death with a couple of his sister's friends. Desite being repeatedly bashed with a shoe and losing a leg and playing dead for a few seconds, it still succeeded in crawling off alive! Ugh! Apparently these things can actually live withOUT their head so they can damn well manage quite easily minus one leg or after being clobbered with a shoe or toilet brush, lol!
My son was joyously telling his dad all about the cockerel all evening and what he had been up to, lol. Had to keep reminding him that it was a cockROACH!

أبو سنان said...

Yuk!

Miss Muslimah said...

I.Hate.Roaches.UGGGHHHHHH!

In puerto Rico they are just as big,with a bonus: they fly!

Saudi Stepford Wife-Daisy said...

dalioness- you remind me of my sister screamin and yellin over a bug...for a "lioness", you sound more like a scaredy-cat, LOL!

cairogal- funny you said "bigger than most mice" as I've used those exact same words to describe their size.

mama kalila- swarmed!!bit!! eeewww!

aysha- I HAVE to meet your mom, I want her to be my mentor, please send me her number...I though I was the only member around in the "mean mom's club" cuz I do those same things! With my oldest daughter I'd force her to go into places where she was spooked by a spider/bug/anything creepy and DEAL WITH IT! I'm not fearless...I've just learned to get on with things and put fear to the side. I don't want my daughter to be the stereotypical damsel in distress waiting to be rescued my a man...squash your own bugs and learn to change the oil in your car too, that's my view. (bugs/briassy/mice- her dad screams like a girl and runs so she must get it from his side:P)

Susie- Houston? I'd think Jeddah would be worse because of the old infrastructure and city planning. But here they have all those pesticides that are banned in western countries to kill'em dead.

sf- I never forgave the guy who first told me that dates looked like roaches. We were the only two muslims working in a huge company and I was so into dates one ramadan...till he said that. Thanks brother Dawood!

mezba- oh, these badboys fly too...I'm just not sure how far. Their wings have a distinctive sound that's engraved in my memory and when I hear something similar, I duck and cover as if I'm avoiding gunfire!

ummaslam- you never quite get used to it but you learn to deal with it.

akinoluna- ew! not the pillows! I can't even let my pillows touch the floor without washing them.

layan- **Daisy immediately stops typing to pay a special visit to the toaster downstairs, then scratches toast and dates off her menu**, toast is my staple breakfast food...it's gonna take me awhile to erase the icky from my brain...but I'd rather be forewarned than ignorant and eating roach spawn with my toast!

Molly- cold-weather roaches are nothing...I remember people warning me about NY roaches but when I was there, they were so tiny!

yasmine- I read on your bio that you're studying bio-chemistry...maybe you can come up with something to kill these monsters that's eco-friendly...we'll love you in Saudi!

mama kalila- aren't our feline "hunters" the best...if only they were more effective killers though:-(

vibeke- I bet even after that you had one eye on the stove/sink/task and the other on that drain for a long time...didn't you?, LOL!

stranger- they can live without their heads, through a 4 year-olds attack, through bug sprays, bleach and nuclear warfare. I bet they'd make it to the moon and survive there too! Yikes, new fact for the day.

Miss Muslimah- those warm weather roaches...I can't think of anything that grosses me out more!

dalioness said...

SSW,

YOU ARE RIGHT!!! "Lioness" was given to me due to something entirely different (not sure if I deserve it anyhow), but I AM indeed a "scaredy-cat" when it comes down to the crawling creatures. It is quite embarrasing, but on this issue I must admit I do behave like a "damsel in distress". Have you ever heard/seen those people who have extreme fear of baloons, cotton balls, etc? Well I am one of them when it comes down to the creepy-crawly things.
My grandmother (who raised me) on the other hand is a true hero in my eyes. When she was younger, she used to play with snakes. One time, to scare her playmates, she took a long stick and pierced a huge snake with it, starting at its' "bottom" through its' mouth!!!! The snake was alive mind you!! She chased the kids like this and of course they were freaked out, probably with my grandmother more then the snake, lol. Today, my grandmother is the person to call when her neighbors have "unwelcomed guests" in their houses. Needless to say,I did not adopt her attitude, and believe me, she tried hard!!!

Lulwa said...

That was nasty... The post sent shivers down my spine and at some point, I jumped from my seat thinking there was one crawling up my leg.
I applaud you for your couragous act of ellimanting the NASTY NASTY creature. How? Please be MY mentor!!!

Cãmê£ C®úšhê® said...

Hey, ITS not those creepy crawly bugs you got to worry about its those damn lizards crawling up the walls into your AC or bathroom window...that's scary ENOUGH!..lol

Sprite said...

That is really disgusting!

We get cockroaches in the house all the time in Australia, and I live in a fairly affluent neighbourhood, not a slum! We get them wandering around on the kitchen surfaces, and once, along the bedhead. While I was IN THE BED. Aaaaarrghhhh!

musicalchef said...

EWWWWW!! But also really funny.

Amie said...

Eww. Roaches. My husband's scared of roaches, so guess what. If ever one comes tooling around, Amie has to kill it. Sick.

peacefulmuslimah said...

I have had them really badly this year! They are a good 2 inches long and quite fat and noisy when you kill them. Ugh! I dread going into the bathrooms lately. They used to come aorund and put a poison in our drain systems but haven't seen them this year -- which is probably why we are having such a time with them.

Yuck!

FrancefromCanada said...

Hahahaha...OMG I was laughing so hard at that simplistic story....even though I have no idea what you look like or what your house looks like I thought it was very entertaining...I could imagine you with that shoe...haha...great story!

always in the kitchen said...

ICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The flying ones are the worst.Out here we get the wood ones coming in through the drains and doors.I bought the extra large traps but so far they just laugh at them...

The roaches are disgusting but the silverfish are really gross.I keep sticking powdered borax in the base board corners.

Umm Hibaat said...

Had a giggle whilst visiting your blog recently. So,I decided to tag you over on mine ;)

Saudi Stepford Wife-Daisy said...

dalioness- wow, I'm not quite the same calibre as your grandma! Now that's a woman to learn from!

lulwa- I know what you mean...I've been keeping an eye open every time I go into the bathroom now. I can't say it didn't creep me out, just had to do what I had to do:)

Cãmê£ C®úšhê®- what are you taking about woman, those briassy (little lizards) are cute! My husband found an itty bitty tiny one that'd found its way into the office, proceeded to scream like a girl while beating it with a broom. I was laughing my a** off the whole time. P.S., he does the same scream with mice, roaches, and spiders too.

sprite- ewww, are they the big bastards like here or are they small...not like gross isn't gross just cause their smaller, right?

musicalchef- :)

Amie- we've got 4 big shoe prints on our yellow hall wall from where my husband was chucking his shoe at a lizard to kill it...he was too afraid to get too close:P

PM- the local remedy here is to pour diesel down the drains...environmentally sound, I know!

francefromcanada- thanks! It's becoming apparent that roaches and a hatred of them is something everyone in the world can relate to.

alwaysinthekitchen- we've got silverfish here too, but not too many. But I can't figure out for the life of me where they're coming from. Thanks for the borax tip!

umm hibaat- I'll take a look at the tag inshallah.

afro jamaicano said...

im glad ive already eaten dinner, but omg im about to take a shower!! i havnt seen a roach in my house for a couple of yrs, but the kitties hav brought a few snakes up from the basement....

Saudi Stepford Wife-Daisy said...

SNAKES!!! and I thought my cat bringing me a lizard present was bad....ew!

Mama Kalila said...

appareantly the other day my husband came across one at work. took him awhile to kill it too. when he finally did his shoe accidently flipped it away from him and he panicked thinking it went up his leg. he went on for days about his jihad against cockroaches... - his wording too - of course that's nada new... is a common subject/discussion with him lol

Saudi Stepford Wife-Daisy said...

mamakalila-"Jihad" against roaches...LOL! I'm finding that many men are far from "manly" when dealing with creepy crawlies.

F. Mattar said...

hahahahahah I was googling how to kill lizards, when I stumbled on your blog...read about my cowardly experience with cockroaches..I always call my husband: http://farahmattar.blogspot.com/2007/01/invasion-after-midnight.html
I just saw a baby lizard in the bathroom and I'm the only one awake, so I sprayed it with Nivea deoderant..while holding a slipper. The slipper was just for show because I froze when it came wiggling out dizzy with the scent of fresh underarms. So now, since I can't go back to sleep, i'll read the rest of your blog...

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