Monday, April 21, 2008

The Technicolor Streak

My MIL finished her mourning period of four months and ten days, as is the Sunnah. During these months she only wore plain, undecorated clothes, didn't apply perfume or make-up, and didn't leave the house. On the evening her mourning period was finished, she donned a garb which clearly stated exactly how finished she was.


Now, if only one out of her 5 adult sons that she was "blessed" with, mashallah, would get off of their ungrateful butt and take the woman somewhere. All of the meals that were cooked in a blazing hot kitchen, all of the clothes that were laundered for them, all of the love and attention that was paid to them over the years went seemingly unremembered after her mourning period was done.

While all of her old-lady friends have been taken to Dubai, Syria, Egypt as well as other exciting places, the only place this poor unappreciated woman has been taken in her life is to Mecca and once to Bahrain.

Words cannot express my disappointment in all of her "loving" sons, who are now her legal guardians since her widowhood. The woman's been widowed for God's sake and had to stay in the house for 4 straight months. She deserves a well-earned trip replete with pampering, just for her.

15 comments:

dalioness said...

This is very sad. Perhaps they could be reminded that, may Allah forbid, their own children could come to treat them this way one day.

Ann said...

Assalaamu alaikum,

She sure does deserve a trip somewhere! My mother-in-law finished her iddah last month, and the next day, she went to make unrah with about twenty of her children and grandchildren. Shortly after that, a son and daughter took her on a two-week trip, and my husband's planning to take her to the UAE in a week or two insha'allah.

(And it's great to see you back.)

intlxpatr said...

Can you take her out to lunch or dinner? Do women go out together in Al Hassa? Or is there a great mall or something? just until one of the sons gets a clue!

Anonymous said...

Maybe you could talk to DD and see if he or his other siblings could take her somewhere or maybe pay for you and her to go somewhere close. She could go somewhere where she has some relatives maybe she hasn't seen for sometime. I think children forget that mommy also needs some TLC. sf

Anonymous said...

I am chuckling here just a tad--DD does read the blog ya know, inshallah he will get the point :)
~Brooke

Cairogal said...

Aww...bless. Can you get your husband to take you, the kids, and the MIL to Dubai for a long weekend?

Mama Kalila said...

:-( Noone should be stuck home all the time.. I hope she gets that trip, even if it takes some hinting.

أبو سنان said...

I guess they forgot that in Islam Paradise is under the feet of the mother.

I guess these guys will be missing out..........

Saudi Stepford Wife-Daisy said...

dalioness- they're men, I'm sure the double standard will still be firmly in place.

Ann- now that's what I'm talking about, mashallah! They were talking about taking her to Mecca during last weeks school break...but it was just talk. They made a little party for her at a farm but come on...take the woman out!

intlxpatr- she's really old-school, doesn't do malls and restaraunts. I want to see her do something that SHE would like to do. God knows how we (MIL, SIL's and me) begged my husband last summer to take all of us on a trip to the Emirates, got her passport renewed and everything. What came of it....nothing.

sf- I already tried "talking", I'm hoping public embarrassment will be more effective:-P

Brooke-we'll see won't we:-)

cairogal- I'd just be happy if he'd take just her and dote on her. I know it'll be cheaper than packing us all up, although I'd love to go along for the ride.

mama kalila- it'll take more than hinting...perhaps something along the lines of wild horses dragging 1 of the 5 son's out of this town with their mom in tow!

أبو سنان - I think too many forget this lesson.

Safiyyah said...

Salaams Sis:

Well, Alhamdulillah her idaat is over. May Allah (swt) reward her patience.

Lavender said...

Allah yr7am your F-I-L... and you M-I-L needs a little TLC... miskeena.. kasarti khatri wallah :( Can't you kinda guide ur hubby and kindly remind him that his mother truly needs him at a time like this... perhaps if he takes her on a trip... even a short weekend trip (if he doesn't have time)... his siblings will follow suit in time enshallah.... Till then... take her out for dinner as was suggested by someone else... get her out of the kitchen.... get her to dress up and enjoy a night out with the Dear daughter in law :)

Saudi Stepford Wife-Daisy said...

safiyyah- thanks:-)

lavender- unfortunately, even that would have to somehow go through the menfolk becuase they'd need to drive us. Unfortunately, there's not going around/over them:-(

His Sweetheart said...

This is really sad!!
It reminded me with mom in her widowhood period but the difference is great. We never left her alone and were comforting her all the time. Widows in that period won't feel like traveling or leaving the house even for many beautiful memories were attached to this house!!

I guess staying with her, cheering and comforting her will be satisfying to her. I hope the did that at least.

Anonymous said...

It makes me feel really sad she can't just take her self out. Your next post makes me feel really sad too, how you can't look at yourself in a shop to try on make up and have to beg and plead to go grocery shopping :-(
Still, thank you for sharing the details of your life.
- Kay

Sameena said...

I was so touched by this post... in traditional cultures, where women are often pitted against other women as they tear each other limb by limb to get the few crumbs of power they can, you have managed to rise above all that. Your humanity, your humor and your empathy for your mother-in-law is so touching, it is a joy to have found your blog. We irreverent obnoxious broads have to find each other to remind ourselves we do exist