Tuesday, April 24, 2007

New Racial Sensitivity Rules for commenters on my blog

In light of the reactions to another post, I’ve discovered that I’m obviously much too blasé about comments regarding my own social/economic/ethnic identity. I’ve decided that I will, from this point on, throw hissy fits in reaction to any type of racial/social/etc. reference that could be applicable to blood relatives of mine unless the commenter fits neatly within said social or racial group.

1. No Arab references of any kind unless you are a Saudi Sunni Arab, and are from Al-Hassa.
2. No project/ghetto references,- my sister lives in the projects, has a “ghetto” name, and calls her daughter the ‘project princess’
3. No redneck/hillbilly/hick/Podunk jokes, this includes using redneck names or somehow insinuating hick-ness in anyway.
4. No mafia, Goodfellow, or Godfather references, I have an Italian-Americans in the family and an association may be implied
5. No Nazi references- I have a German-American half-sister and could construe a linkage between her and Nazi misdeeds and would therefore, be offended.
6. No trailer trash references, my mom’s half-sister lives in a trailer-park and I spent some summers at her place.
7. Do I have to say no terrorist references?
8. No truck driver jokes- got some truck-driving cousins and a half-brother who just took up the career.
9. No ESL, or non-English speaker references, I have another half-brother who doesn’t know even two English words along with countless cousins, aunts, and uncles, nieces, and nephews.
10. No run-for-the border references- No habla espanol but we watch a lot of “Dora the Explorer”, “Diego”, and “Mind of Mencia” since we acquired a couple of Mexicans.
11. No insinuating construction workers have bad manners, we owned a contracting company.
12. No saying Geronimo- You guessed it, Native American roots also.
13. No eastern-Europeans as prostitutes references-I have family living in Eastern Europe. I even went to visit the “old country”.
14. No plumbers crack jokes- got a plumber in the family
15. No nerd/geek/dork references-my husband may get his feelings hurt.
16. No inferring that accountants are socially inept, pencil pushing, boring bureaucrats.
17. No Irish jokes- too many “Mc” names in the family to count. This includes alcoholic references too as this is commonly associated with Irish.

…I could go on, but I think I’ve made my point. And if any of you actually thought I was serious and you considered trying to follow these rules…..GO AWAY FROM MY BLOG NEVER TO RETURN because you obviously don’t get my sense of humor.

The only things my family is still missing is a Jew and an Asian. Seeing as how we never stick “with our own kind”, I have a feeling the youngest generation will take care of these missing delegates of our own little U.N. Maybe Saudi Jawa could engage my Hispanic niece if he’s willing to wait about 20+ years. I’d suggest my daughter’s, but they already have waiting lists and would need to refuse a few dozen potential suitors to get to the bottom of it.

How did my family get to be like this? Well, obviously we have a lot of tolerance for other cultures and groups and don’t take ourselves too seriously. Also, we have too many divorces and re-marriages resulting in a spectrum of half-siblings who repeat the cycle.

Man, my kids are a tribal Saudis worst nightmare to have marry into their family!


hedoorientia said...

Fantastic family! I salute You, oh multi-cultural Global Goddess!

saudi stepford wife said...

Oh, that gave me a good laugh...only one problem, can't use the term Goddess (astughfirullah!). Rather "Multi-Cultural Global Queen of all Things Cool" will be fine. However, you may all refer to me as "Your Majesty" for short.

hema said...

YM (for even shorter) you are too funny. i miss you! shall i try to sort out the asian part for you?? :)

Marie-Aude said...

The more I read your blog, the more I love it :)

Azizah said...

sister,no disrespect but you used african names in ur joke not saudi

why? because you know people will think its funny when they see African names because of the stereotype that african americans are like the way you described
so the fact that you used african names not saudi proves you know very well what you were doing
you were not making fun, you were actually promoting a stereotype

all the other saudis who think its funny, next time you should laugh too when you are stop at an airport security when outside saudia or when people watch you with hostile faces when ur out with family

"ha ha" very funny still, right?

Aysha said...

I salute you as well!
And then bring forth to your highness my humble requests:
1) that you grant me some extra citizenships.
2) that you grant my husband and I a: meet the family open invitation for when we get to Saudi!
3) that you reserve one very special girl of the family for my son..he'll be ready in 20 years from now. Take your time. No, no, not an arranged marriage! "Every couple needs a little help*"

* the old fat lady from Sense and Sensibility, Jane Austin

Anonymous said...

Azizah: Get over yourself. People use stereotypes. It’s a fact of life that you sitting on your high-horse will never be able to change. As long as differences exist between people, there will be stereotypes.

SSW may have been promoting stereotypes but at least she has presented in a manner that is fun and playful rather than being a hateful bigot.

Have you ever heard the saying "what goes around, comes around". Remember that next time you or your family treats the maid or driver like a dog - you too will be treated like a dog someday!

Anonymous said...

Point taken and duly noted.

Now if my Zi-zou married one of your girls, you could add African American-West Indian(although these days he claims to be a ninja turtle) to your heritage stew, thereby earning you authentic street cred and ghetto pass. That alone should put us at the top of the list right? LOL

saudi stepford wife said...

Azizah-get over it, my sister has an "african" name as you put it (hissy fit inserted here).
Had I used the names Timothy, Chris, Jane, or Arabic names it wouldn't have the same parodic bite. Like it or not that medium exists and you getting mad at me and my acknowleging that existance is anger misdirected.

saudi stepford wife said...

Ayesha- Funny you mentioned citizenships, I could qualify for 4 different passports myself!

Ahlan Wasahlan- Y'all come on by next time you're in EP.

As far as your son goes, he'd better be into tall women if he's consider anyone in my family! Most khalijis are too short next to us.

That's my girl, quoting from Jane! I don't know about you but I find a lot of similarities between social constraints placed on romance in Austin's time and here in Saudia nowadays.

saudi stepford wife said...

Anon1- I wouldn't say I was "promoting" the stereotype, I've mentioned several times both in the post and comments how negative that medium is.

You bring up stereotyping here in Saudia, it is really strong and there's no PC-ness (and some people tend to forget Islamic teachings). I've always told my Asian friends not to come here unless they plan on dealing with regular doses of it.

But of course stereotyping Saudis as maid-beating, driver abusing hypocrites isn't good either. No one of our family or friends does these things. Although a stereotype exists that doesn't mean that it's a universal truth. Also, mentioning that numerous members of a certain "group" act in a specific way does not promote a stereotype unless one insinuates that their actions are SYMPTOMATIC of belonging to said group.

saudi stepford wife said...

Anon 2- raise Zi-zou up right to treat a woman as Allah intended and that'll put him to the top of my list! I dread the day my girls get married and I'm working on screening processes from now (their ages are 6 and 9!)

I look at my own son and wonder; if when my job is done and he's an adult, will he blindly follow some of the cultural misogyny and religious hypocrisy that currently exist, or will he champion change and buck the trends? Oh... the worries of mothers.

Saudi Jawa said...

Wonderful post SSW, as always.

While I'd love to contribute my genetic code to your U.N. sanctioned family/nation I'm afraid my fiancee would go medieval on my ass... :D

Re: Austin
Great minds think alike! I've always maintained that marriage and courting here in Saudi Arabia (well, at least here in the Hijaz anyway) were very Victorian in nature.

أبو سنان said...

Too funny! Sounds like my boys! They are German/Czech/Austria/Saudi/Yemeni/Indonesian and family rumours of Morrocans as well.

Cairogal said...

"why? because you know people will think its funny when they see African names because of the stereotype that african americans are like the way you described"

No, she didn't use Saudi names because she was trying to draw a direct correlation to the guests frequently seen on Jerry Spring, who tend to include a variety of trashy personalities that are mainly white, black, and hispanic. If you haven't watched lately, try it for a week (I work from a home office, not a springer-head!) and statistically track the races represented. Springer is equal-opportunity when it comes to representing trash.

"all the other saudis who think its funny, next time you should laugh too when you are stop at an airport security when outside saudia or when people watch you with hostile faces when ur out with family"

Is this the suggestion that Saudis feel the burn of racism in airport security around the world? No one needs to tell people with last names like "Ahmed" and "Mohamed" what that's like. I don't think that makes Saudis, or any other Arab nationality, unable to laugh as the follies of their own culture. I don't believe SSW's post represented a commentary on all Saudis, just as I don't think Springer guests represent all African-Americans.

samsara said...

Mashallah sister I'm so JEALOUS. My mother has a fit (no kidding) when ever a non-Somali even mentions the word marriage & one of her daughters in the same sentence. I have a sinking feeling I'm going to be the one to make her worst nightmare come true.
She actually makes duaa, DUAA that it doesn't happen, can u believe that? lol/ scares the living beejees out of me.
Serves them right if I did, that's what you get for sending your kids to school, fill them up with right and wrong, you just end up with ungrateful stubborn know it alls who will not just do as they're told.:p

saudi stepford wife said...

My family is full of tradition-ignoring little brats like you:) I'm the best of the worst in my family!

A generation or two back this kind of combo wasn't possible. A German great-grandmother on my mom's side was disowned by her well-to-do family for marrying a Irish-Catholic. When you start out with that type of rebellion in your gene pool, your bound to carry some of their traits.

Saabirah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
L said...

Haha, this is seriously the funniest blog I've come across in awhile. I loved you're Jerry Springer post. I thought it was hilarious. I think that some people really don't get the concept of satire or are too obsessed with being abnormally PC

And I have three passports myself (Egypt and 2 others), which seems unbelievably weird to me. Its nice to read about someone who comes from an even stranger racial background than myself :)

magickman said...

oh this was funny.I needed the laugh and please dont misunderstand when i say that. I know some of your family history a bit due to who it was that gave me your page address. It is amazing that you all can keep track. wow !you cannot say that your family is not culturely rich, that is for certain. so much to learn from. It has been a pleasure to read ;-)

saudi stepford wife said...

Welcome Magickman and be sure to stop by again.

When some family members can't pronounce the names of other family members...you've got diversity!

Now you got me thinking about whose promoting my blog...must be my mom:)

magickman said...

hello. you are close.not your mom ,your sister. I think she is a great girl. we have been friends for awhile now. also,yes,her daughter is a little princess.and she act it too.lol. she play it up a bit around me when I have seen her. I just laugh.they are good kids though I think.just being kids.she has told me a bit of you.It is nice to meet you. :-)