1. No Arab references of any kind unless you are a Saudi Sunni Arab, and are from Al-Hassa.
2. No project/ghetto references,- my sister lives in the projects, has a “ghetto” name, and calls her daughter the ‘project princess’
3. No redneck/hillbilly/hick/Podunk jokes, this includes using redneck names or somehow insinuating hick-ness in anyway.
4. No mafia, Goodfellow, or Godfather references, I have an Italian-Americans in the family and an association may be implied
5. No Nazi references- I have a German-American half-sister and could construe a linkage between her and Nazi misdeeds and would therefore, be offended.
6. No trailer trash references, my mom’s half-sister lives in a trailer-park and I spent some summers at her place.
7. Do I have to say no terrorist references?
8. No truck driver jokes- got some truck-driving cousins and a half-brother who just took up the career.
9. No ESL, or non-English speaker references, I have another half-brother who doesn’t know even two English words along with countless cousins, aunts, and uncles, nieces, and nephews.
10. No run-for-the border references- No habla espanol but we watch a lot of “Dora the Explorer”, “Diego”, and “Mind of Mencia” since we acquired a couple of Mexicans.
11. No insinuating construction workers have bad manners, we owned a contracting company.
12. No saying Geronimo- You guessed it, Native American roots also.
13. No eastern-Europeans as prostitutes references-I have family living in Eastern Europe. I even went to visit the “old country”.
14. No plumbers crack jokes- got a plumber in the family
15. No nerd/geek/dork references-my husband may get his feelings hurt.
16. No inferring that accountants are socially inept, pencil pushing, boring bureaucrats.
17. No Irish jokes- too many “Mc” names in the family to count. This includes alcoholic references too as this is commonly associated with Irish.
…I could go on, but I think I’ve made my point. And if any of you actually thought I was serious and you considered trying to follow these rules…..GO AWAY FROM MY BLOG NEVER TO RETURN because you obviously don’t get my sense of humor.
The only things my family is still missing is a Jew and an Asian. Seeing as how we never stick “with our own kind”, I have a feeling the youngest generation will take care of these missing delegates of our own little U.N. Maybe Saudi Jawa could engage my Hispanic niece if he’s willing to wait about 20+ years. I’d suggest my daughter’s, but they already have waiting lists and would need to refuse a few dozen potential suitors to get to the bottom of it.
How did my family get to be like this? Well, obviously we have a lot of tolerance for other cultures and groups and don’t take ourselves too seriously. Also, we have too many divorces and re-marriages resulting in a spectrum of half-siblings who repeat the cycle.
Man, my kids are a tribal Saudis worst nightmare to have marry into their family!