Saturday, August 11, 2007

People Watching

"That girl's abaya's so tight I can see the wedgie her panties are giving her", said DD as we sat in the hospital waiting for EttaMae's speech therapy appointment to begin.
"So what are you doing looking at her a** for you twit! What ever happened to "believing men, lower your gaze"?!

I'm not at all surprised as this is DD's favorite hobby right after vegging out in front of the TV: people-watching. And it's not just women he's watching either, otherwise I'd be a bit more uptight about it, LOL! The government hospital is a great place for people-watching and it contains a cross-section of Saudi society with every social/ethnic/economic group within Saudia represented. I'm guilty of people-watching too, although less obvious than DD as its done through my veil, and commenting on some of the more unusual characters that fall victim to our scrutiny.
Daisy- "You don't like men looking at me as I walk past so why do you do it to other women", I asked my ogling hubby.

DD- "Well, I can't exactly beat up everyone who looks at you now can I?"

Daisy- "How would it make you feel if I sat leering at every man that went by", I asked?

DD- "Be my guest!"

Daisy- "Huh?!"

DD- "Let's take a look at the selection in front of us now, shall we. Take this guy for example (pointing in front of him)...he's short, bald and he's got a pot-belly. Men, in general, are ugly. Women are much better to look at."

Daisy- "Yeah, but you're looking at it from a man's perspective. Try looking at it through a woman's. Do you think I've never been out walking somewhere and had a "WHOA BABY" moment when seeing a good-looking guy?" ***but of course immediately diverting my eyes and neeeeeever leering;)*** "You do realize there are good-looking guys out there, right?"

I'm not sure if DD thinks that a magical spell was cast on me at the signing of my marriage contract which only gives me eyes for him or what! The man is obviously delusional or else he's depending heavily in my piety:)

me- "Didn't your mom every give you a "it's not nice to stare" lecture when you were a kid?"

DD- "No, can't say she did, it's just kinda understood when you get older I suppose."

me- "Uh, ya think? It doesn't seem as if you reeeeeally understood all that well, wouldn't you say!"
Maybe next he's gonna claim that men just can't help staring.
I won't be in town to respond to comments so converse amongst yourselves for a bit:)


hema said...

now why would he want to look at other women when he has you as a wife? (seriously,why)

Forsoothsayer said...

did you marry an arab man? they're not taught not to leer.

ابؤ شثيد said...

(Daisy's husband)-

I am not rude and I don't wanna fight,
My wife's my hope, my life, my light,
I am only proud to be her knight.
I only stare in my queen's sight.

Cãmê£ C®úšhê® said...

I just say men are men. I dont really catch my husband looking. OR maybe he does only Allah knows.

Then if I DID catch him. He said "WHAT?" I said "WHY are you looking?" "I dont know" and I said "OKAY,"

Anonymous said...

All men look and so do women, but women would "turn" or "lower" their gaze faster than men. I know some pple really get very angry when they catch their spouses looking. If I catch my husband doing that, I try to look at him and he goes, "what?" and I just say "what?". I admit, I sometimes also look too by accident of course! sf

أبو سنان said...

Funny. That sounds like my wife and I. We both like to people watch. We are pretty open about it. Honesty is the best policy.

Anyway, there sure are some "interesting" people out there.

Cãmê£ C®úšhê® said...

I also admit that on some occasions on accident I have look and wonder about their personalities. We are all human and we make mistakes. So take it in stride.

Aliyah said...


Assalaamu alaykum,

Just dropping by to try to cheer myself up :((

I had some bad news today.

I like to watch the people who are people watching. Does that make sense?

I found that in the Middle East (U.A.E.) it is the niqabi women (in general) who stare at men the most! It actually seemed (to me) quite obscene. Up, down, up, down, repeat two more times. My husband often complained about it to me; he returned one day actually blushing! And they are not even shy to do so when I was around either! Maybe they were looking to be a second wife :P

As a niqabi, I am really conscious of not staring at people – or at least not getting caught doing it. Not that I “perve” at the opposite sex – how gauche not to mention haram. It just seemed to me that staring is more noticeable when all that’s showing is your eyes. Just my views…

Ma'a salaama,


Amy said...


My friend and I have this joke (I don't live in Saudia btw), that we can tell a man is Arab if he keeps staring at us when we stare back. Most people here (USA) will look away if you stare back but not the Arabs... then again, it's rare here. I can't imagine it being a regular thing. Hope I can have pockets, and keep my hands from making rude gestures... not that anyone but me would understand anyway. *rolls eyes*

Anonymous said...

Assalamo Alaikum,

Oh Daisy,
What a sweet husband you have. I imagined he didnt read your blog. Anyway DD I think you are very lucky to have such a wonderful wife, hope you appreciatte her.

H...E said...

this is great because i had a recent similar experience at a hospital in the uae while i was visiting my sister...a woman in full niqaab and everything was holding her newborn who was crying...and suddenly she...pulled out her front of a mixed audience...who didnt seem to notice. while my sister and i went craaaaaaaazy!

TeacherLady said...

I'm reminded of a bit from "Persepolis" by Marjane Satrapi where she's running to try to catch a bus before it vanishes and a cop yells for her to stop. Once she finally realizes it's she he's talking to, she stops running and misses her bus. She asks him when she should stop running and he admits that it is making her behind move in a provocative way.
"Then DON'T LOOK AT MY ASS!" she yells in return. Class.

'Scuse the language, I wanted to quote her as best I could and give you the full effect.

And in my experience, Arab men take accidental eye contact as an invitation to marriage or at least to being harrassed until you manage to scurry away.

Anonymous said...

Aliyah just burst my bubble, I was planning on taking up people watching as a hobby again if I started wearing niqaab. I figured it would be less noticeable since the eyes are small feature of the face.

Anonymous said...

This lack of control over gaze is due to
spiritual weakness. So encourage
your husband to purify his heart and then you will discover a wonderful transformation of his personality. This art of spiritual healing is called
Tasawwuf in Islam. As shown in the Quran and Hadith,
Quran, 22:46 …Truly it is not their eyes that are blind, but their hearts which are in their breasts.

More on the heart:

“Verily, Allah does not look to your bodies nor to your forms but He looks to your hearts.” [Muslim]

“… if it is sound, the entire body is sound and if it is corrupt
the whole body is corrupt.” [Bukhari]
You might check this great book titled as "Purification of the Heart : Signs, Symptoms and Cures of the Spiritual Diseases of the Heart " by Hamza Yusuf

Dew Drop said...

Greed or apathy ? Islamic landmarks in Saudi Arabia are under attack !?

If you have a headache, will you chop off the head ? Or, take medicine ?

Anonymous said...

Anonymous @

Aliyah just burst my bubble, I was planning on taking up people watching as a hobby again if I started wearing niqaab. I figured it would be less noticeable since the eyes are small feature of the face.

Are you trying to defame the Niqabi women ? You seem to show Islam in a bad light. Islam is not so shallow. Niqab should be both on the mind and the face.

The women who wear the niqab intentionally show the pristine shade of modesty which is rarely found in the West. Let us praise those genuine Niqabi women.

Umm Yusuf said...

looool Everyone looks. I guess it's human nature. It's just the continued staring that is well, rude.

My sister's husband used to be the worst for staring at women...until he had a daughter, she became a teen and he realized how much he hated men staring at her. So, he stopped.

Fatema said...

Hello Daisy i really liked your blogg it seems like there is too much good stuff in here.

arshia said...

hey daisy,Thanx to ur blog, I get a feel of hassa.
I will be relocating to alahsa inshallah to work in kfu.I have two small kids as in 7&8yr old.Is there any social life there for kids?cud u giv me a briefing on the city and its social life.How are schools there?Can kids play on streets as in India?can I go out shopping without my husband?are there malls in hassa?
Ii dread being a stepford wife!!!