See what I gotta resort to!
Go to Sand Gets in My Eyes blog for an unbelivable picture on this same topic.
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Saudi gender roles and everyday life are being redefined as you read this. I feel like talking about it, in English, so it can be read in the furthest reaches of the planet.There is more to me than what exists within the domestic sphere and that’s what I’m trying to maintain through this dialogue with the world. This is about MY life and MY experiences within this small town
What's going on in my life?
May 11- Uh oh...school's out soon!
Just airing dirty laundry
- Saudi Stepford Wife-Daisy
- Al-Hassa/ Hofuf, Eastern Province, Saudi Arabia
- American/Saudi with a dash of religiosity, a pinch of realistic feminism, and usually with humorous overtones.
The Players and terms in this blog
- Me- Daisy
- DD- "The Dork of the Desert", my husband and yes, he reads my blog
- MaryJo- my oldest daughter age 9
- EttaMae- my middle child age 7
- Buddy- my baby boy
- abaya
- burga
- Al-Hassa- the city I live in, it's people are called Hasawis
- EP- the Eastern Province of Saudi Arabia
Why I made this blog
For any woman, no matter her origins, there are elements of Stepford in every town in every country. I'm in Stepford Saudi Arabia. I'm constantly struggling to maintain my identity and individuality and not to have 'me' swallowed up by the family unit or by what’s expected of me. Hence, the name "Saudi Stepford Wife" seemed applicable. I'm referring to the first movie, made in '75, in which the gender politics of the '70's is exaggerated. Much of the discourse taking place at that point in time is similar to issues where I am today. The movie includes perfect robotic housewives who do nothing but bake, get their floors to shine, and ponder the wonders of Easy-Off spray. They look stunning and live only to please their husbands while the protagonist tries desperately not to be assimilated by them.
This is about MY life and MY experiences within this town which will differ from everyone else's so please, hold the emails defending Al-Hassa. ِِِِI'm an educated mother of three and I want to tell you about my life and my observations.
coexistence
blogs I like so far
Future Post Titles (tentative)
- Beauty's Only Skin Deep: Saudi Standards of Beauty
- The woman I can never be like
- The Najdi export of "Aayb"
- Things I have done while wearing an abaya
- Did you just insult me?
- a snail could download faster!
- Foreign Brides
- Weddings or fashion shows: brides or clowns?
- The Shabaab: Looking At Their World From The Outside
- A Saudi Broad Abroad: Saudi Women Outside of the Kingdom
- Crime?? What Crime??
- The Ayjooza News Network: Faster and more detailed than Al-Jazeera
- What are the gender roles: who's responsible for what?
- What To Do in a Town With No Activities in It
- Women Driving: You May Be Surprised What Some of Us Think!
- Saudi Trash
- My Fair Lady??: Rudeness in the Public Sphere
- Flirting- PLEASE LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE
- Hasawi Women: Past and Present
- Saudi Slums
- Al-Hassa's Plural Identities
- A Day in my life
U can"t hide.
f
22 comments:
Soooooooooooooooo Cute
Oh that's hilarious! So when are they going to let chicks drive themselves over there?
You gotta do what you gotta do!!
What a little cutie!
LOL! Some already start way too young,hehehehe sf
Teacherlady-
I am all for women being given their rights to drive in Saudi but I am not sure if I would want to drive there if given the chance. Saudi has the most aggressive drivers in the world! Fatalities occur daily. Couple that with sexual suppression & you've got a big problem on your hands. I don't have one doubt in my mind that men would run women drivers off the road just to get a chance at either talking to them or possible violations like rape.
This is where I have personal conflicts that the mentality that women need to be protected. I don't think I personally need protection however I do feel that men in Saudi need to have some freaking control over their own actions!
That is so funny haha :)! Really cute.
Anonymous;I can agree with you on some of your points but when is the Saudi society going to make men responsible for their actions? When will this process start? The way it is now men are king everywhere no matter who they are. Why should we apologise for our existens? I think its time to start punishing men that misbehave in Saudi no matter who they are. And its time for people to start raising their sons in a proper manner.
I can understand that reality and our hopes for reality are two very different things, and the reality is that (most likely) female drivers WOULD be bullied on the road. Legislation would only do so much, but as long as countries in the ME are run by big boy's clubs with wasta, it's very difficult to effect actual change in the minds of individuals. That's why I left.
Good going SSW...as the saying goes, 'a picture says a thousand words' I'd like to see this photo made up as a poster and would be proud to display it prominently in my office! big bad grin
-American_Bedu
Carol- you have my blessing. I was considering having him wear his little thob and khutra but his diminutive stature wouldn't have been as evident without showing his face.
Teacherlady- you are soooooo right. Even though my husband is cool with the women in his family driving, we all expect a really bad time for the first women drivers to take the road like the examples you listed. Even with this, someone's gotta pave the way and if they were to announce women can drive today, I'd be at the licensing place yesterday! Eventually the hoopla will die down as it did with the first satellite dishes and mobile phones.
Sous- I'm a lot more pessimistic than you. I see Saudi society's morals degrading with every successive generation. I love my father-in-laws purity of soul but can see the goodness dilute progressively through every generation of men since him. My heart aches for my son's generation and I worry about him the most, more so than my girls.
awwwwwwwww masha Allaah he's adorable - the little man driving!
*holds my car keys up and snickers*
I guess I'd be mean if I said neener neener neeeeeeeeeeener eh? ;)
Seriously though, sometimes I wish I couldn't drive here in Kuwait. The driving is so psychotically dangerous that I'm not at all sure that it's to my advantage some days.
Then there's other days when I'm really thankful that I can take the kids out and escape for a while.
Just, every time I'm out I wonder if we're going to make it back okay - there's been so many near-misses that those duaas can't roll off my tongue fast enough..
And with what was said about thinking that the day that women ARE allowed to drive in Saudi - I heard from a friend of mine that they're considering just having professional women drive only to/from work - doctors, teachers, dentists etc to start with, to acclimate the public slowly - because it doesn't take rocket science to figure out that to many men in Saudi, this will seem like just too good of an opportunity to pass up. A woman driving - alone - yeah. Not good. A gradual entry is a good idea I think.
Even here in Kuwait it's enough to start trouble - if you so much as look the wrong way, you can be seen as encouraging to the over-testosteroned-twit beside you.
Sad, huh. I think you're right about each generation becoming more degenerative - but I'm trying to raise my son to do right by women, irregardless.
one of the proposed laws is that women should be over 30 in order to get a licence. Apparently those of us over 30 are less desirable **cough, cough (I think I'm a pretty hot mamma!)**
I doubt this'll even put a dent in the amount of flack we're gonna take but I'll tell you, I'll never be so happy as to be above 30 if it allows me to drive. My son's gonna beg me to drop him off at school around the corner because he'll be so embarrassed his MOM is driving him there!(Inshallah)
I admire your enthusiasm in wanting to join the chaos on the road. More power to you, I would only drive here at 10am when there are very few cars on the road! I suspect that one of the major turning points in Saudi society will be the day women get behind the wheel and I will be amongst the throng by the side of the road applauding. It won't be the driving in itself that is the triumph but the shift in attitudes towards women that driving will represent. Society seems to want it both ways at the moment. The story about the two women taking the muttawa to court recently....he saw them sitting stationary in their car outside the shops with their driver. I haven't read any more detail than that but it seems that women are allowed in that small space with a haram male so long as the car is moving but once stationary they have to fling themselves out the car door lest they seem to be spending an inappropriate amount of time in their car with that haram male??!! It seems that the sin of women driving is greater than that of being in the presence of a non-family male. Although better the adult expat driver than some of the 12 year old Saudi boys you see behind the wheels of Suburbans here in al-Khobar.
Kathryn- I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed the ambiguity in the charges against those women. This would make how may women guilty of indecent behaviour for having no choice but to use a driver or go in a taxi? The ridiculousness of it all. And to think, besides this little baby boy and my husband, I don't have ANY other male relatives on which to depend inside KSA (a fact which my husband bemoans almost daily).
I knew anyone living in Saudia would get the joke when I put a MALE baby behind the wheel. I've seen not much older than him driving and the most they'd get if anything is a slap on the wrist for driving without a licence but a grown woman caught driving would be charged with indecency of some sort.
Awwwwww...
He's sooo blond* Masha'Alla!
Thank God you didn't have him hiding underneath that Ghotra. May God bless him and his sweet mom...
*A great Saudi complement ^_^
Aysha- alay barak feech (I say in my best Hasawi-tainted Arabic)
But that's not blond...that's BALD! The lightness emanating from his head is sunlight reflecting off his Kojak-like head through a sparse dusting of peach-fuzz:)
I made duaa after I knew I was pregnant with a boy that he not be blond! A girl- no prob, you can cover her up in public and it would be a beauty trait, but a boy! It would be a career of daily buttwhoopings at school. He's a tiny little runt too, a genetic throwback as his babba and I and both sisters are all good-sized.
My husband's family told him to take my son and get his hair dyed, and take him to the beach to get him a tan. He's blond. He's also not in the public school system for a reason.
Incidently, I'm over 30 too. If that's what they based "lesser-desirable females" at in terms of age and possible driving regulations in KSA, alhamdulillah I fit the bill!
can you imagine - all the young women will be counting the days when they have their first gray hair, when they hit that pinnacle of age when they have the freedom to drive?
Hahaha I can just see it now - a new movement for women in Saudia - less makeup, add a few pounds maybe, borrow one's nieces and nephews for the evening and out you go - with your sister's license. Since you're only 27.
*snicker*
Great picture- and a lot to discuss.
Interesting topic.
Ah Huda- someday my DNA is gonna overpower my husband's, who's been winning the trait-war so far. When that happens, YaRubbie, please let it be a girl! We'll end up with at least one blond OR red-head by the time we're done. Or we'll get a weird combo like my mom's half-brother...red hair, black beard and eyebrows!
They'll have to hire female police when women start driving here so if any 'underage' women wanna borrow a license, a veils not gonna help shield their identity. It'll be the Saudi equivalent to western bad behavior like trying to get away with buying beer or cigarettes. Oh wait, there ARE women here who do those things too...my bad.
sophyie- Welcome to my blog and be sure to put your 2 riyals (cents) in anytime.
it's not legal for ten year old boys to drive in saudi is it?
and wow your baby has grown! wasn't he born yesterday or something
that's so adorable!!!
I was wondering,if I wanted to visit saudia,alone with my 2 girls,will I get a visa??Someone was saying that it's a pain in the butt. My BIL is in Jeddah and my brother in Bahrain, I want to go and see both of them. My brother says that I should go to him and then we could come together to Saudia. This is just too much, I like my freedom but in ME, I feel so *helpless*. Emirat was fine, but now, inshallah, would love to come to saudia. sf
sf-give me a few days to check on some facts and I'll get back inshallah.
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